Sunday, February 22, 2015

Aviation Observations



Subject: Fwd: Aviation Observations

-    A good simulator check ride is like a successful surgery on a dead body.
-    Asking a pilot what he thinks about the FAA is like asking a tree what it thinks about dogs.
-    An airline pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
-    The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as a copilot, is a copilot who once was a captain.
-    Experience is gained through making mistakes.  Mistakes are caused by a lack of experience
-    Hand-flying an ILS in a gusty crosswind is easier than adjusting the shower controls in a layover hotel.
-    A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister.
-    Most airline crew food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that's what it is.
-    Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes wrong . . . . . then one pilot gets all the blame.
-    Standard checklist practice requires pilots to read to each other procedures used every day, and recite from memory those which are only needed once every five years.
-    A crew scheduler has to be the kind of person who wakes his wife at midnight to carry out the garbage, then sends her back to let the cat in.
-    Unlike flight crew members, jet engines stop whining when the plane arrives at the gate.
-    A dispatcher's desk has never run out of fuel.
-    An FAA investigation is conducted by a few non-flying experts who take six months to itemize the mistakes made by a crew who had six seconds to react to the emergency.




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